Annoying platform announcements

[NoOnions]

Is is just me or is the announcement at Cannon Street when a train arrives

"Customers are advised to use all exits at the gate line"

the most annoying announcement ever? Do they really think they have to tell us each day to use all of the available ticket barriers and not just all queue up behind one?

What's worse is that you can hear it a number of times before you can escape the platform as they seem to play it for every train that has arrived.

Grrrr!

[lordbarne]

I can only agree that this is the most annoying announcement at Cannon Street, followed closely by 'Due to todays wet weather, surfaces may be slippery'. I cannot understand how the human race has survived so long without being given this sort of information.

[Richard Trevithick]

LordBarne - because until fairly recently, most people were able to use common sense! Nowadays, people are used to being wrapped up in cotton wool, and if something goes wrong then it's obviously somebody elses fault! It's a mix of ambulance chasing lawyers and people not being prepared to take responsibility for their own actions.

RT

[Ryan Webb]

How about these for annoying announcements, both from Sheerness:

"Please stand away from the edge of Platform 1. The next train at this platform is not for customer use" - Ok, so what train are we meant to get on? :S

"Parents are guardians are reminded that the station is a dangerous place. Trains may pass through at high speed and without warning. Thank you." - How exactly is a train going at a maximum of 15mph towards the buffers "high speed"? It's still dangerous, yes. and I know the buffers didn't stop the 17.10 train from Victoria in 1971, but nevertheless, is this needed?

[lordbarne]

Sept 9, 2009 13:37:38 GMT Richard Trevithick said:

LordBarne - because until fairly recently, most people were able to use common sense! Nowadays, people are used to being wrapped up in cotton wool, and if something goes wrong then it's obviously somebody elses fault! It's a mix of ambulance chasing lawyers and people not being prepared to take responsibility for their own actions.

RT

A cynic might suggest that these efforts to defeat Darwin's theory of natural selection will end in tears. I couldn't possibly comment.

[Richard Trevithick]

LOL! Very good point Lordbarne, why are people meddling with Dr Darwin's Theory! Unfortunately, I think the results are already with us - look at all the chavscum taking over society with their antisocial behaviour - they wouldn't have made it without this compulsive and unnecessary hand-holding. My medium one overheard a few of them bragging about trespassing on the railway lines and "there is only electricity in the conductor rail when a train is nearby". You won't believe how tempted she was to suggest they prove their theory!

Back to annoucements, on similar tracks to Ryan's example (pun intended), my medium regularly chuckles to herself over the annoucements at Blackfriars, which go "please stand away from the platform edge, FAST train approaching". Well, it could be considered a fast train if the linespeed was greater than 15mph!

A general observation about annoucements, why have they all been changed and made politically correct? "Stand away from the edge of platform X, this train is not for customer use" used to be "stand away from the edge of platform X, fast train approaching". I'm sure even the most degenerate members of society wouldn't try boarding a train travelling at 70mph! I say bring back the old annoucements that actually made (common) sense!

RT

[barrygillingham]

And how did we ever survive without the yellow line? I was told off last year at Paddock Wood for standing on the line. I politely told the member of staff that I had survived about 15 years of commuting with slamdoors which tended to swing open as a train pulled in.

[heofgreatwisdom]

Personally I have no objection to being told by Doris that the next station is X and reminding me to take my coat and briefcase off the rack. But thank you that is enough. Welcome aboard etc.etc.etc every three minutes plus all the other irrelevant information makes concentration on whatever, very demanding. One supposes it is another of the European memorandii imposed by some bureaucrat sitting in an office with nothing better to do. One regrets that things are only likely to get worse and we should be thankful that we are not subject to South Western Trains who apparently are even worse!

Great day
HOGW

[paolo]

I think the thing that gets me, is when you are on a commuter train, aminly people who travel on the same train every day, you get the automatic announcement, followed by the conductors announcement, followed by another doris announcement, I mean, we all know where we are going, I do it everyday! Then on the off peak trains, with passengers who maybe only travel once in a while, maybe not sure where they are or where to get off and nothing, not a dickie bird!

[celestine]

Thank you SO much for clearing up that announcement for me, NoOnions...I thought they were asking me to use "all the exits at the same time" Impossible!
Cel x

[lordbarne]

I did notice when passing through Cannon Street this morning that the announcement which was the original subject of this thread has been amended to 'Customers are advised to use any available exit at the gate line'. The frequency also seems to have been reduced as it was only heard twice whilst walking the length of the platform.

[NoOnions]

lordbarne,

I noticed that as well. It's now a male voice rather than the female one.

I still find 'at the gate line' a strange phrase though.

Perhaps SE Trains do take notice of this forum?

NoOnions

[NoOnions]

I've just worked it out!

South Eastern are concerned for us sleepy-head commuters in the morning!

In the evening the PA system is too busy announcing useful stuff like platforms for departing trains and we are all likely to be awake anyway (even after a City liquid lunch)!

Otherwise we'd have;

"Customers are advised to use any available entrance at the gate line'